Friday, November 25, 2011

Tis the season

Christmas is my favorite holiday, the one I look forward to 365 days a year. The minute I can put everything else away and bring out the Christmas decorations. I spend the day after Thanksgiving every year putting up Christmas lights. This is the first year I am not out in my front yard shocking myself with broken light bulbs and screaming or running around on the roof trying to get the lights to stay up--while running out of staples.

I sit in the office at work writing you a blog while laughing to myself at all the dumb moments I had growing up that involved Christmas. How can one not get excited about this season?! The weather is cooler, you can sit by the fireplace, you can read great books and drink hot chocolate. (Something I wish I could do right now but it is still hot here and I have no fireplace so I must adjust!) Everything about this holiday is peaceful, yes there is crazy shopping involved but its gifts for people you love, there is no stress when you are buying for people you love--they either love it or they don't and hopefully the just pretend if they don't.

All of this is great but I can't help but be reminded that HE is the reason for the season. Everyone gets absorbed into the shopping and the presents and they forget why we are celebrating this. So excited to get to see a different culture experiences during this holiday, one that doesn't think the same way as I do. It will probably be a struggle but it will be a very exciting adventure that I am glad I get to witness.

I am thankful for so much and yet sometimes I get this mind set of everything is "not good enough" how am I to judge if it is good enough or not? He gives us just what we need, good or bad. We sit and wonder why things are too hard, but really nothing is too hard--just have to be strong enough to overcome it. Overcome your fears this season, don't be afraid to press on in the hard stuff right now--its going to be amazing on the other side.

I came to write a blog about music and started talking about other things! fail. I want to just give a music review and think that everyone should listen to A Very She & Him Christmas
It is top notch and definitely making it seem like it is the holidays. Zooey Deschanel's voice just brings Christmas alive in her songs! I love the deep, rustic, old feeling the songs have and you can't beat the harmony. Of course I have about 1,000 other songs on this playlist but theirs is standing out. So everyone should check it out :D

So I leave you with some things to think about. What is stopping you from doing what you love this season? How can you overcome the hardships that are placed in front of you? How are you going to change things to make everything focused on Him. I dare you to take the leap you have been too scared about taking.

Remember to smile and share His love this season. Be a light.


Highs:
skyping into the Thanksgiving dinners back home
good talks with friends back home
having a Thanksgiving meal!

Lows:
Homesickness was pretty bad this week
getting over some kind of bug
my moms friend passed away today, it definitely upset me. RIP Kathleen. you will be missed.


Prayer requests:
That my parents can adjust with my dad moving soon.
That you are all at peace this holiday season and enjoy the time with your loved ones, never take it for granted.
That I can get through this holiday season and not be too upset or depressed over it. 2 holidays down 1 more to go.

with love,

Ashley

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

3 months

It is official I have lived in China for three whole months. That is the longest I have ever been out of the country, which is weird but cool at the same time. I have been learning a lot about myself and what my strengths and weaknesses are and what a daily schedule should look like. I am calling this first semester of teaching the "practice round" am I taking too much on? are the kids learning anything? am I good teacher? that kid is driving me nuts! all daily thoughts that go on. Most of them are true and I am working on changing a lot of things. I find that the closer to the end of the semester comes the more I start to debrief and see what were great things and what was just horrible and how I can make the second semester better!

Some things I have done this past week have been fun and interesting and definitely have to do with my future. I don't know where I am going in the future or what road I should take but I have a lot to think about! I will be partnering with the Concordia International School in Shenzhen to help with a summer camp that more Concordia University, Irvine students will get to come and teach at! I am excited to be given such a job and hope I can live up to the standards that they have. I am excited to see what happens with this group and most definitely excited to show them this city!!

I also have been busy with teaching different things and figuring out what would be best for the students. Right now we are learning about directions and how to give them and how to ask for them, which is surprisingly really hard to teach...who would of thunk it...but it is fun watching them try and struggle and then have that boost of confidence when it is correct. I have been enjoying having them work on their own maps and saying what each building is and where it is located on the street. It is almost like an arts and craft time with english thrown in! It is different then most of the lessons I have been teaching and it has been a nice break!

It has been really rough knowing that the holidays are coming up and it has been really hard knowing that one is coming up in 2 days for me. I was told by my fellow expats thanksgiving is not the hard one, because they don't celebrate it here...it is Christmas that is tough. So I am taking it day by day and praying about it and hoping I can get through this time of year without missing home too much. It pretty much sucks and is something I try my hardest not to dwell in. We found out that a local restaurant that caters to foreigners and especially Americans is putting together a Thanksgiving dinner. So Christine, Jessica and myself are going to go and see who we meet and enjoy a meal together. I am so thankful for that opportunity and really look forward to it!

I was given a chance last week to have a family dinner with my friends Christine, Rebecca and Jessica. Christine had brought back tortillas and so we made tacos and had fresh salsa! It was pretty epic and was soooo nice to have some mexican food again. It was quite delicious!!!

I have been sick the past couple of days and have been dealing with the "sore throat of death" most of my illnesses I add death next to the name just for fun. I took the day off school and relaxed and that was the first time I have been home all day in probably 3 weeks. Even though I was sick it was so nice.

The one thing that added to the homesickness of three months was this very nice man to wear an In-n-out shirt....Some would say I am obsessed with it, I would say its not that bad...but I was definitely homesick after that and I called him out on it! I told him "how dare you wear that shirt in China!" I was glad he was not offended by it hahaha I was pretty rude!


That is what I have been up to these past few days and have of course been super busy. 3 months. great. sucky. depressing. amazing. fantastic. He is good in all things and in all places.

Highs:
good food
good talks
good friends
Skype dates

lows:
missing people back home
missing family
missing the best friend
missing thanksgiving...

Prayer request for my future and what is being offered and what might happen. Also pray for the sore throat I have come down with, I hope that it goes away soon.

with love,

Ashley

Sunday, November 13, 2011

10 things I have learned

As I sit here I write to you angry, exhausted and busy...I am drained. I took time this weekend to spend time in my room, sleeping, watching movies and relaxing. I thought I could be prepared for the busy week ahead, but no sleep continued. Here I get made fun of because I like to go to bed at 9--sleep is important to me. I have come to find in my almost three months here that people don't go to sleep till 12 and wake up at 6, how do they do it? I was told its because they drink so much tea...I still don't get how they are not exhausted.

I try and keep up with everyone and go to the activities the teachers want me to go to, but lately it has been draining me more and more. I kept thinking what and why am I getting so drained. I have come to the conclusion that it is hard when you are not properly "fed" I miss going to my favorite place on Sundays...I miss the music...I miss listening...I miss being renewed. It has been so hard to not have that, and I look back and see how I would take it all for granted and how I wish I could find that strong community here. It is what I am seeking. I struggle daily, exhausted I wake up, exhausted I fall asleep. I continue to stay strong but there are days like today where it just kind of sucks...

I was walking home last night and thought what are the top ten things I have learned since being here..good and bad..so I am going to share them with you:

1. Mandarin Chinese is not as hard as you think, speaking is hard but understanding..not so bad.
2. I can cross the street with no fear and at any time, even when there is a car driving really fast towards me...sometimes you just got to do it or you will never make it to the other side. (something I will miss when I am stateside again)
3. Teaching is really hard...all you teachers I know out there...I LOVE YOU and am SO proud of you! Keep up the good work, it is a hard thing to do.
4. Being late is on time
5. People will stare at you no matter where you are, so just stare back, maybe it will spark a conversation :)
6. I like noodles way more than I thought...where I live they eat lots of rice, I am told daily I live in the wrong part of China...oops :/
7. It is fun living alone, but I miss my roommates from Parkwood in Irvine.
8. The importance of still being actively involved in family and friends lives as much as I can.
9. Time differences suck as do 11,000 miles of distance between you and the people you love.
10. Making contacts is one of the most important things I have done here and have been able to share a lot that way...its been amazing!


I hope this post is not seen as depressing--that is not what I intended it to be. I wanted to share what I have been thinking as well as what I have been up to.

I got to see Mary again in Hong Kong and that was really really good for me, talking and just having fun for one solid night was just what the doctor ordered. I enjoy getting to talk to my friends either through Skype or in person..I consider Skype in person now and treat the person like they are standing in the room with me. But I forget how important friendships are to me, I put you guys on a high pedestal and sometimes I am too loyal but I would do anything for any of you and I hope you know that and I am proud to call you all my friends.

This week I have some meetings planned for future jobs, activities and life things. Please keep me in your prayers that things go well and that He is guiding me in the direction He wants me to go in. Also pray that myself and the other people I know living abroad can find peace in not being home as the holidays start to come...I know a lot of us that talk are having a hard time not going to be home for thanksgiving...so prayers would be great!!

Highs:
Hong Kong to see Mary
Getting to sleep in this weekend
My apartment is much cleaner

Lows:
exhausted
Missing family and friends a lot right now


with love,

Ashley

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Have no fear of the unknown

Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that He is with you. In all things. Some words to live by--realize its all you can do. Everyday I ask myself how did I end up in China--what is going on. I then remember the constant late night talks with my friends, aching to be abroad again, falling in love with the places and people I had met. The way I have impacted these lives, the joy they get from a simple hello, the bond that is formed when you help someone--His joy in all I do. I have been thinking of ways to improve what I am doing, getting more involved, in all I do. I know that one year in China will benefit the people here and if I stay longer it will continue the good. I have made life long friends here and I have made life long friends in other countries, the bond of a friendship formed over traveling, nothing compares to that. So how does one feed the love for travel and the love of helping others?

I have been thinking of ways to better my time here, ways to impact these people more. I have started Chinese lessons, I have been working on communicating with the people that can't understand me. I even frequent the same restaurants or milk tea shops to get to know the employees! I want to change the lives of everyone I talk to. I know that this is a hard thing to do but I want to at least bring a smile to their faces--as they watch me speak horrible chinese.

I have had a chance to even go abroad again while here, the travel bug has not been tamed and I have my next adventure ready! I will be going back to India for two weeks and then to Vietnam for three weeks. My excitement level is through the roof, to go back to the first country that stole my heart and to have my heart stolen by a new one. I am excited to bring joy and find joy in these countries and find those life-long friendships with the people I meet. Most people ask me "aren't you scared to go to these countries?" my answer is simple, what fear does there need to be when I have the best intentions and that I have Him by my side. I know to be safe, don't think I am not safe, but I love traveling and I want to see this world...all of it. Last time I checked I still had a lot of countries to visit :)

I can't wait to go and walk up to the doors I once saw in India like this one at Shanti Dan.

and what is most exciting is going to see a roommate from college and see what she is doing in Vietnam and getting to do some volunteer work with her! We had dreams about seeing each other in our new "homes" and it is becoming a reality. Who would think that one of my closest friends would end up in South Asia too. I am full of joy by the experiences I have had here and so excited about what is going to happen.

I am eager to see what He has in store for me while I travel. To see something I once did and how it has changed and how it will impact me the second time around. I thought to myself I could go back home to the states, but at the moment I won't know where home will be...I can't travel to Southern California and my parents already be moved and not see them or go to Washington and not visit my friends down in California. I am trying this whole Big Kid Life out for this year, a time to get a way and to figure me out. My friend told me I would probably not be completely satisfied if I went back to the states and encouraged me to travel...so that is my intentions.

I don't know what is going to happen for me here in China, where I will be next year. Maybe my current school, maybe not. I don't know what the plans are, they are unknown...all I can do is trust and pray and that I will do my best in whatever obstacles happen and be joyful in all things.

I just want to leave you, the reader with something. I encourage you to Walk into the unknown right now, take the step you have been avoiding and see what happens...it's scary but amazing all at the same time.

With love,

Ashley


Highs:
just everything feeling good right now
Getting to spend last weakened in Hong Kong and meet some amazing people and get to have amazing talks.
My apartment is getting some style :) (pics to come soon)

Lows:
Exhaustion...something about China just makes me tired!
figuring out lesson plans...getting stuck in HK for 4 days without a computer really through my week off.
Christine being gone this week back in the states for a family thing. Please pray for her and her family

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

He knows what He is doing

This week has been stressful, exhausting and ridiculous. Christine and I decided we would put on different events for the students on each holiday. The only logical way to break it down would be that each grade would celebrate a certain holiday-halloween being the 3rd and 4th graders. Genius idea and everyone was excited, just had poor communication-it doesn't help a language barrier as well. In all honesty this probably would of never happened if Christine did not do an awesome job at setting stuff up and planning...I helped but she rocked it! We had to teach the teachers what each game was and the concept before hand and hoped they would be able to teach the students. We had a pretty small amount of candy for 320 kids...yes 320 kids! We had the typical games of bobbing for apples, bean bag throw, mummy wrap and a cake walk and the kids all seemed to enjoy it! The scary part was when candy was involved...it was probably the most terrifying thing ever to have a group of 50 little kids swarm at you and scream trick or treat as they try and rip the bag out of your hands! Warning: Don't give children candy...horrible idea haha Here are some pics from the event!

Being mobbed for candy


The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out with the girls. Girls from Jessica's school and my school got together to go to Dafen-an art district and to the movies! It was fun getting to hang out with my current coworkers and then hanging out with the girls I had met this summer. I ended up buying a piece of art for my living room, that I have fallen in love with...the colors are great!

But most of the afternoon was just walking around and catching up and talking about different paintings-super relaxing! one of my favorite pictures from the day!


The biggest thing I want to write about today is just for support and prayers as I struggle and my family struggles with moving. My parents are relocating to Seattle, Washington for my dads job...something that scared me and made me really anxious but talking to my mom settled that yesterday. She said "if you can move to China, then I can move two states north." Who thought I could be that kind of inspiration in someones life. I always have heard talk about moving since the 6th grade and telling my dad he was dumb, it was not going to happen. Well this time it happened 10 years later it finally is happening. In all honestly I am stoked for them, a time to start fresh and make new friends and escape the socal heat...my moms first experience with snow...it will be humorous in so many ways! I definitely am scared and sad to say goodbye to a house, that I won't get to say goodbye to-since I am in China. So prayers as they transition into this new life and that everyone finds peace in this situation. Pray for my friend who is renting out my room that she can stay there as long as possible and that she can find somewhere to move to-within price range and there be peace in that decision.

I was reminded that He knows what He is doing something I need to keep in mind and something I need to focus on. I want to continue to remember the reason why I am here and continue to be the light to everyone I encounter. I need to realize I am here for a reason and not back home...no matter how badly I want to be home, He has me here for a reason, and I hope that I keep doing what I think those things are. All of this stuff is happening for a reason and He knows what He is doing.

Prayer Requests:

I am most definitely worried about a lot back home and it makes the days hard..so prayers that I can find peace in this as well.

I have to go into Hong Kong tomorrow to get my visa fixed, hopefully it all works out and that I can get it in the day.

That I can be the best teacher that I can be right now, sometimes I feel like the kids are not learning anything


with love,

Ashley