as long as you lock the door

I was at my favorite place to go on a Sunday yesterday and I had to use the restroom. I asked one of the guys there and he said you can use either restroom "as long as you lock the door" it made me giggle. He did not know how to say they were combined bathrooms and not one for men and women, lets just say I made sure the door was locked!

If any of you know me, which I hope you do-since you are reading this blog; you know that I am one of the most emotional people on the planet. Being emotional I have found in my 22 years of life as a blessing and a curse, lately it has been more a curse. So I sit here with the past weeks of emotions behind me, some good, some bad. I had a friend recently send this to me, while we were talking and I found it encouraging...I hope it does the same for you.
"you can't be strong.
He gives strength.
He gives joy.
He is our rock
our refuge...a place of security.
he, only He can satisfy.
it's not wrong to feel lonely or however you feel..that is real. Take it to Him.
Be vulnerable, transparent and honest with Him."

It was a good slap in the face, a moment to rely solely on Him. That it is ok to have feelings but to not let feelings get in the way of what is most important in my life. To not focus on earthly things that make me upset-to focus on what is above and to come and how I can do a better job with doing what I can while I am here. I found that instead of giving it to Him I have been looking and searching for it from people in my life, I need to set my boundaries again. I need to learn what is ok and what is not ok, I thought I had things figured out but I am slowly learning I don't.

I first before I go into what adventures I have been on would like to apologize to the people back home that I have put pressure on. I know that is unfair to you and that it is not something you need to be dealing with. I thank you all for your friendship and your encouragement and you are all encouraging, even if you think you are not.

On to what I have been up to. A whole lot of work! but I have been going off on little adventures by myself slowly learning what is at each metro stop and what is fun. This weekend I spent a lot of time to myself and just wandering around trying to figure things out. I did a lot of praying. I even treated myself to Dairy Queen, where after I realized I was next to a movie theater...I love movies so what would be best then to see a movie! the only american film was captain america and I had already seen it, so no movie! I thought to see a Chinese film but the times were off and I did not want to wait around for 2 hours for the next showing.

I walked over to book city where I bought my new favorite book! I am currently in the process of learning Chinese and bought a lovely textbook to help me along my way. Maybe I can have a conversation with someone in the near future? :)

Sunday started with the normal 8 am- 45 minute subway ride to visit Jessica. I listened to a podcast and my favorite kind of music for a Sunday! hoping I would be able to sing some later in the day when we arrived at my favorite place on Sundays! I got to eat at my favorite noodle place at community seating where 6 Chinese people were just staring at us but did not know much english to talk with us...another hint that I need to learn the language quicker! But we decided to head on our new weekly adventure that we have on Sundays...lets find the building! in Mei Lin!

this is what happened on our adventure to Mei Lin this week:

We got on the bus that everyone has told us will take us there, thinking we were good....we were so very wrong! after 2 bus changes (we were kicked off the first one to get on the same bus number, just different bus) We ended up somewhere very very far away from where we were supposed to be and it was most definitely the outskirts of Shenzhen. It was an area that was poor and had dirt roads in some areas. We walked around for over an hour trying to find the nearest highway in the rain while laughing and wondering why this had happened to us, again. We actually arrived the earliest we have on any previous sunday...thanks to the taxi driver and the 60RMB later! We arrived in time for singing. If you have heard me sing, I apologize! my voice was not meant to sing, it is horrible but I can not get enough of singing songs of praise. It was good to be there for that and has encouraged me even more to make sure I am on time and not 20 minutes late! hopefully we figure out these buses because its getting rough and expensive! :)

But once we broke off into our study groups I was hit with something I was not expecting, questions! and lots of them wanting to know more and starving for information. I really enjoyed giving answers and helping them see where it was in the book that they were looking for things. I felt really at peace and felt like I was doing some good. I felt at that moment peace I have not felt yet here in China. Kinda like I was supposed to be there...what I had been searching for. I am excited for what is next.

I also came across this randomly while reading and it definitely hit home with what I am feeling. Enjoy!
‎"I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water...I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

This has become long enough...I will end it here I hope you made it this far in reading it.

Highs:
Sunday

Lows:
The way I have been treating the people that are closest in my life.

Prayer Requests
To always go to Him first.
Stomach, is not agreeing with me lately...yay upset tummys
Peace
Patience
That I am getting enough rest
That I will be able to answer questions that the people ask me.


I love and miss you all

Ashley

one month in China.

To be honest with you, I have been sort of dreading this blog post. I don't really want to accept that it has been a month. It has been the best month and the absolute worst month. A lot has happened and it has been quite eventful, but I can't help but miss home :(

Homesickness strikes again and I have it every day, sometimes I have "good" days and sometimes I have "bad" days...it is strange to wake up every morning to wondering if it will be good or bad. I pray every morning that it is going to be a good day, that I will be strong enough to be the best person for this community, the best teacher, the best daughter and the best friend that I can be, all while some of these things having a gap of 10,000 miles. I have days where I think I am doing a horrible job for both back home and here, but something I try and fix everyday and something I pray will get better.

I love my classes, but they can be a pain, I am grateful that there are only 40 students! I would be dead if there were more!!! I have some great students and I have some that are not so great, a normal classroom! I have been having fun with them though, they seem to be enjoying my classes.

I have gotten close to some families around here and been interacting with them, it is nice to have some kind of family life around and getting to interact with them. I am excited to have people I can call friends here :D

This last weekend I got to see my friends the Geiss family, I met them in Nepal last summer. They were in Hong Kong for a Nepali conference and of course me being so close, I went right over to visit them! It was a much needed relaxing break, I feel as sometimes it becomes a little claustrophobic being here and its nice to run away. We got to Hong Kong pretty late and decided to just sit and visit and talk and that was a lot of fun! the next day was the day of hunting down all over Hong Kong and visiting! We went to Victoria Bay, ate some food, went to a few book shops and just got to interact with each other, it was a lot of fun and it was great to see them. I missed them a lot!

Today I met up with another girl from America and went to dinner and that was a lot of fun, it's always nice to meet people that are going through the same stuff that you are. It was bad sushi but a good talk and fun at an electronics store after haha!

Other than that nothing has really changed too much, I am dealing with a lot from back home that I won't discuss on here, but just pray for that. Pray for peace for me and to be better at patience, and also pray for that when it comes to my family. That there is a plan with the situation that has been handed to us, that they find where they are exactly needed. I have been struggling a lot and have had many days where I just wanted to get on the next flight to California. I am hoping it goes away soon, but it does not seem like it is going to leave me anytime soon. :/

Highs:
Hong Kong and getting to see the Geiss Family!
Skyping my parents more.

Lows:
The stuff going on back home.
Missing friends and not getting to Skype as much.
Homesickness.
Exhaustion.


Prayer Requests:
That I continue to stay in the word and ready daily.
That I can get used to my schedule and not be so exhausted.
I can not be so homesick...it really puts a damper on your day to day activities.
Keep loving these kids and people I interact with
Patience.

I miss and love you all.

with love,

Ashley

p.s sorry this blog post was such a downer, hopefully the next one is better :)

long four day weekend adventure

So little did I know that Teacher's day was going to be Saturday and that there was a national holiday on Monday, so that meant a four day weekend!

All I wanted to do this weekend was sleep, sleep sounded better than anything else. I think my body finally finished its transition to China time...but that was hard to get.

my adventure started friday with me asking at work if someone could take me to get a massage....little did I know that meant going to a resort place, getting a full body and a foot massage...sounds great? not so great when its 9pm and you do not get home till 1:30 am it was a rough night and it did not help that I was meeting friends at 9 am to go to a local theme park! The theme park is called Happy Valley where you have "Happy Times"



Happy Valley was fun but exhausting..I went with Jessica and our friend from work and luckily I did not feel bad for being soooooo tired, they were both the same! so we did not go on many rides, but enjoyed lunch and walking around talking. I really am exciting to be spending more time with our friend and the opportunities that are being opened up right now!

This picture is of us being dressed up in traditional clothing :P

after happy valley we walked around some and headed back to my apartment where I showed them my area and took them to the delicious Vietnamese food place near my house, seriously delicious and yes I was guilty of eating there 5 times in a week and a half...I don't plan on slowing down either, its delicious! if any of you visit, I will be taking you there!

Sunday, Jessica and I tutored 6 four year olds and whoa was that exciting, they are so cute and it will definitely make me look forward to Sundays! in love with them all already lol and then we were off to find the place we go to on Sundays it was our first time trying to get there by ourselves and we had no luck and got lost! so we will attempt next weekend to find it, wish us luck! we ended up going to a book store and I went for some Pizza Hut I was craving it and Dairy Queen....I know you can all be upset I went for western food, but I wanted it!

Sunday night I got to tutor two kids that are amazing...They are from two families and I love them already, I really enjoy these families and hope to hang out with them more, they already want to take me hiking in a couple weekends!! There is a lot of great talks with them and the kids are awesome, it really is amazing. I want to continue to tutor and hang out with them as much as I can this year.


Monday i got to walk around and see some people lighting lanterns and just enjoying family time, with the celebration of the mid-autumn festival, it made me miss home a lot :/ but I got to Skype people at home and that was really great, its nice to get in contact with people about once a week, it really helps me get through the weeks.

Here is a picture of the city and some lanterns in the background!



this coming weekend I get to go to Hong Kong to visit my favorite people from Nepal and I am so excited so please pray for safe travels there and that we have an amazing conversation and just have fun with the time we get to spend together!

everything is going well, classes are busy, tutoring is busy...I am loving the kids, they get loud sometimes but that is ok, it is expected they are kiddos. They all like me or at least that is what the teachers are telling me :)

I like where I am working, still working on my hours and how much is expected of me to just sit in the office, because right now I sit in the office 5 hours before I do anything and that is really taking a lot out of me and I have things to do but if it is expected for me to do later things, I would like to just be able to come in a little later then 7:30....

I am doing well, missing home though but that is ok and not expecting it to go away anytime soon. I miss you all and wish you were here and wish that I was there, I thank everyone for the emails and comments and everything you have been giving me to help me do a better job here. so encouraging and I really enjoy it. I love you guys.

Highs:
some talks I had with people I am meeting here
He is showing me so much more every day and I love it
Skyping with some friends back home

Lows:
Missing everyone back home
being tired



Prayer Requests:
That I can figure out my schedule
I can be the light to the people who are asking questions
I stay in the word and focused on Him
that I continue to do my best to glorify him

I love you all and miss you terribly

Ashley

sometimes I forget that I am not Chinese...

I have officially been in China for about two weeks, I am a day early in saying this...but close enough. I still have my days where I see people from a distance talking and my instinct is to think they are speaking english, they are not. I get lots of stares and people looking at me like I am crazy for doing what they do. Everyone I meet asks me why I am here, their responses are always shocked ones when I tell them why I am here and what I love about Shenzhen. I do a lot of walking, a lot might be an understatement. I walk 95% of the time and the other 5% of the time is spent taking the metro and occasionally a taxi (but that is only if I get lost.) The stares I get...I forget why someone would be staring at me, because I am different and I am doing everything that someone who is a native, sees as normal for themselves, not me. But I am learning that the looks just come with me being here, I don't expect them to change or for them to stop, I am enjoying it, all I can do right now is keep smiling. I can't wait until I can learn more Chinese and then really scare the people that stare because I am a foreigner! maybe they will accept me as a "native" that looks different for this next year!

So I still have terrible homesickness but it is nothing compared to the first week, that week I thought I was going to be back in the states in no time and was not enjoying anything about being in China again. I have adjusted and I am slowly enjoying what I am doing and embracing any and all situations. My strength is in Him and I am constantly reminded of that and put him first in all situations and have been trying my hardest to constantly be in the word and to be talking to our Father. It is the one thing that gets me up in the morning and gets me through my day and I love closing my day before bed in His word. I am constantly amazed and all of his wonder and grace and love that he has for us. My strength lies in him and I have seen that time and time again, especially in these last two weeks and I love it.

I got to go to the Chinese Christian Church in Shenzhen (a state registered church) and attend their new foreign service, which was quite a story. I really enjoyed what the two leaders are trying to do and I hope I can be there helping them start a community that the church has asked them to do. I met three other foreigners there who are helping them and really got to talk to them and enjoy their company and I hope that I can help them in any way possible. So I am going to attend for a few weeks and see what they might want me to do or see if there is anything for me to do. I am excited to hopefully build a community with them!

The week has been busy, had my first classes! they went really well and felt really natural and I love the kids already! they asked questions and I showed them pictures of me and family and friends and just my life in general and they really enjoyed that! I even gave them a little bit of homework :) such a mean teacher, I know... :D Work is tough I have 10 hour days with 5 hours of them sitting at the office, so I am working on reading and keeping myself busy. Lessons are done for a few weeks already, its all just a lot of sitting!! but school is going well, just trying to get used to the 6:30 am wake up call. and not to oversleep! I teach 3 classes a day in the afternoon mon, tue, wed and fri and on Thursday I have a after school program where we can do whatever we want, just have to make sure we are practicing english! I am excited for that to start, in a few weeks.

the exciting thing this weekend was going to a work banquet to celebrate Teacher's day! I won a rice cooker! and I got to meet a lot of other foreign teachers and watch a show and watch my teachers and the teachers from this summer go up and sing and dance, it was a really fun night. It did not end there though we went to KTV (Karaoke) after for 3 hours! I thought I was going to die! but the school accepted me as a colleague that night! lots of singing and laughing but I did not get home till 1 in the morning...I feel like an old person now, wanting to be in bed by 8!

I also have been given the opportunity to help some students with english that are friends, so it is kind of like babysitting, but doing it in english. Jess and I will take on 6 four year olds next weekend, I am STOKED! and I have some other opportunities with other kids as well, just trying to figure out times and such. These kids make my heart very happy, their smiles just make me want to hang out with them all the time lol but I can't, I need to make sure I am making time for myself and to be fed by Him and stay in the word and have my day of rest! so staying focused on that but helping as many as I can without being worn out! I can do it!

everything is going well, enjoying who I am meeting and what I have been doing, I miss home very very very much but I am dealing with it and living in the now and embracing the situations I am being handed right now. I know that He is there with me and has many reasons for me to be here and I am just trying to listen and be patient and figure out what exactly I should be doing, without wearing myself out.

I thank you for your constant encouragement, without them I would still be a mess.

I love you all

Ashley

High of the week: Mastering the subway system and meeting the foreigners at the church.

Low of the week: being really tired and still being super homesick (I am hoping that can become a healthy homesick in the future, if that even exists!)


Prayer Requests:
Be able to survive 10 hour work days, its hard.
That I can be intentional in the communities that I am in.
That I can figure out how to cook!
Continue to be in the word and praying for you all back home.
that I don't become overworked.